The Nikah Guide

Before the proposal

Two ahadith frame the search itself. The Prophet ﷺ said a woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion — and advised: 'Choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed in dust [meaning: you will succeed].' (Sahih Bukhari 5090). Conversely, a man with good character and religion who proposes should not be turned away on lesser grounds (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084).

Looking at the prospect

The Prophet ﷺ permitted — even encouraged — looking at one another before the contract is finalised. He said to a Companion: 'Have you looked at her? — for it is more likely to bring lasting affection between you.' (Sahih Muslim 1424). This is meeting in a permissible setting (with a wali / guardian present), not unsupervised dating.

The wali (guardian)

In most traditions a Muslim woman marries through her wali — typically her father, or a paternal relative, or a designated trustee. The Prophet ﷺ said: 'There is no marriage without a wali.' (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1101 and others). The wali's role is protective, not coercive — he cannot force a marriage, and the woman's consent (silence is often accepted as consent for a virgin; a verbal yes for a previously married woman) is required. Schools differ on whether an adult woman may contract her own marriage; consult your local imam.

The mahr (dower)

Mahr is a gift the husband gives to the wife — required, owed to her personally, and not transferred to her family. It can be money, gold, property, or even something non-material (the Prophet ﷺ once accepted teaching the Quran as mahr — Sahih Bukhari 5135). There is no fixed amount; the principle is to keep it simple. The Prophet ﷺ said: 'The best of marriages is the one with the least burden.' (Musnad Ahmad 24595).

The contract (aqd)

The aqd itself has four required elements across all schools: (1) the wali's consent on behalf of the bride (where applicable); (2) the bride's consent; (3) the groom's offer (ijab) and acceptance (qabool); (4) two adult Muslim witnesses. Once these are met before an imam or qadi, the marriage is legally complete in Islam.

1. The imam typically opens with the Khutbat al-Hajah (Sermon of Need)
2. The wali offers the daughter to the groom in marriage with an agreed mahr
3. The groom accepts (ijab and qabool — proposal and acceptance)
4. Two witnesses confirm they heard both
5. The contract is signed and the mahr handed over (or a portion of it, with the rest deferred)

The Khutbat al-Hajah (Sermon of Need)

The Prophet ﷺ taught a specific opening for any important matter — including nikah, sermons, and lectures. The imam usually recites it before the contract.

Du'a for the newly-wed

When greeting the newly-married couple, the Prophet ﷺ taught a specific blessing.

The first night — what to say

The Prophet ﷺ taught that when a man comes to his wife, he should place his hand on her forehead and pray for blessing in her, asking refuge from any evil in her nature. Then before intimacy, the prayer below is recited.

The walima (wedding feast)

The walima is the post-nikah feast hosted by the groom. The Prophet ﷺ commanded it: 'Hold a walima, even if only with one sheep.' (Sahih Bukhari 5167). It is sunnah but not required; what matters is that the marriage is announced publicly and the community joins in the joy. Extravagance is discouraged; refusing an invitation without genuine excuse is also discouraged.

Etiquette — ongoing

The Prophet ﷺ said: 'The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.' (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3895). Marriage is not a single ceremony but a lifetime of small kindnesses — respect, patience, fairness, and continual return to the contract you both made before Allah.